RANTING

   Where do I start!?!? The isolation is putting me back into a deep and dark past that took me several years to get out of. This is not good for my sanity. By no means am I a social butterfly, but I do like to think that I was doing well within my social realm.

   One of the old habits that I have been doing again is stress eating. I am catching myself eating six or more times a day. I haven’t been getting to bed until around three or four each night. My medicine is helping me sleep, but it is also making my appetite flare. I’m waking up between seven and eight, but I’m staying in bed staring into the abyss until noon.

   Why can’t the weather be any better? At least if it was warmer out, I could do more activities outside. Jump on the bike and go for a cruise through the shore; take Meme and Harley for walks through the neighborhood. Do some of the projects I’ve been delaying on my car. There is so much I could do.

   But wait, I can’t even do any of that because I’m having to stare at the computer way more than I ever have before. I’m trying to keep up with all of our course work in my classes, but it’s more than I bargained for by just taking the regular in person class.

   The University canceled my undergraduate commencement ceremony. That really pisses me off. They did not even care to ask the graduating students what it is we want from them. Yet they are happy to take our money for graduation without entertaining issuing refunds. They could have simply postponed the ceremony to a later date. It is absurd that they will poll students for how they are feeling and many other things, but not give two craps about the students that busted their tails to get to this point.

   We also have yearbooks that we will never be able to have signed and memoirs left by those that have impacted our lives over the past years. It makes me question why I am even trying so hard to do this. Why am I subjecting myself to these struggles? Before anyone says I’m being selfish or feel that I am wrong in some way, all I can say is you’re entitled to your opinion as I am mine.

   We are fortunate to have some very great and compassionate professors in this program, but the university has turned it’s back on us all. I am fortunate to be a part of this program, but as stated earlier, the time is uncertain, and I cannot proceed like this. After this semester is over, I will be waiting to see if they will switch back to in person learning before I decide to register for further courses. It is not rational to subject myself to this agonizing platform, when I know that I do not do well with online learning. My grades suffer tremendously and I’m not okay with that.

   END OF RANT FOR THE TIME BEING!